This morning I woke up with a start and thought to myself, “WRONG ADDRESS.” My mind was somehow buzzing about the remaining thank you cards I need to finish writing and sending, and in that early morning moment of haze I thought one of them had gone to an incorrect address. And the weirdest part is, having that as the first thought upon waking felt both totally normally and completely psychotic all at once.
Welcome to week 35 of pregnancy, I guess.
As of today, we are 32 days from our due date….OMG. OMG. And for me, the days and weeks are feeling really slow. Whereas for my husband, I think things are starting to really sink in. He walked in tonight and said, “this weekend you’ll be 36 weeks pregnant. That’s REALLY pregnant…” I just thought, um, no shit. Have you seen me lately? I’m HUGE. A big, waddling blob.
I’ve decided that these last few weeks are going to be a real test of my strength, it’s kind of like the last few miles of a marathon (or the last 20 of an ultra marathon). It’s that last and final push, the one when everything hurts, and you’re so hungry and tired, but you just have to keep going. The finish line still feels so far away but in reality, you know it’s SO SO close and if you just focus on one foot in front of the other, one chunk at a time, you’ll make it…and the reward will be so sweet. Or so they say….
Last week, my low back seized up while I was out running and now it seems that running is completely off the table for me. In fact, I feel like I can barely walk most days. Let’s be honest, I feel like I can barely do anything most days. I’m out of breath from walking the dog, or just taking her to the park. Putting away laundry. Cleaning the kitchen. Bending over to get something off the floor. Rolling over in bed. Seriously, no task is too small to seem difficult right now. I’m in full on shuffle (or pregnant waddle) to the finish line mode.
And it’s not just my back that’s zapping the energy from me, it’s also the fact that I’ve basically stopped sleeping at night. I can’t seem to get comfortable, no matter what I do, where I am, or what position I am in. I am constantly rolling from one side to the other (ok, there is no rolling, it’s more like an ungraceful flop), and then waking up to pee or drink water.
And then there’s the round ligament pain (yippeee), and the weird nerve pain in my lower pelvis.
And to top it off, my stomach has been on the fritz all week. When all I really want in these final few weeks is to be one of those happy, giant pregnant ladies eating everything in sight, indulging in all the best cravings, and not giving a flying f* about it, but instead I’ve found myself unable to eat a lot of things and just generally feeling like crap. Why can’t I just be a big blob with a spoon and some ice cream??!??!
But even with all of this discomfort, I’ve been managing to still find comfort (and ahem, sanity) in movement. Since my back gave out on me last week, I’ve been doing a mixture of lap swimming, yoga, and walking/hiking (when my back will allow it). While it’s admittedly a very different kind of movement than I’m used to, I’ve realized that this change, this slowing down has been really good for me – I’ve had to have to adapt, accept myself and where I am at, and let go of my own expectations. I guess you could say it’s the truest form of yoga I’ve ever had to do.
Inhaaaaale and exhaaaaale.
Anyway, I can’t believe this kid will be here so soon, I can’t believe that in just a few weeks we’ll be bringing him home. An actual little human that we created. It’s both terrifying and exciting. And I’m not sure I’ll ever wrap my head around what’s about to happen. I feel like he’ll be here and I’ll still be sitting here wondering how he got here in the first place.
Alright mamas, tell me, how did you handle the final few weeks of pregnancy? Any advice?
If you want more good reads this week, check out these great articles:
- If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to train for a marathon OR what it feels like to be pregnant, check out this hilarious post from Annmarie over at the The Fit Foodie Mama
- If you’re like me and going through big changes, here’s a great read about coping with big change and finding acceptance for whatever life throws at you — even if it sucks. Thanks Katie from A Journey to 30 for this raw, and honest post about getting laid off. All the hugs and all the feels.
- And finally, here’s a piece I wrote for all you expecting mamas out there on running (and racing!) while pregnant. I share the good, the bad, the ugly — the bouncing and the chafing — on Runtastic’s blog. Somehow, even when I read the parts about nipple chafe, I still mourn not being out there running free….psychotic? Maybe a little.
Stay sweaty (and keep moving, no matter what!) my friends!