Two weekends ago, we had a very unconventional “baby shower.” In fact, we didn’t even call it a baby shower, instead it was merely a party to celebrate Baby Danger’s nearing arrival. We had tacos, queso, blood orange mojitos (and an assortment of adult beverages), and there were no games or gift openings. Just a bunch of adults (and puppies) hanging out, eating, drinking and being as merry as can be. Oh – and in my opinion, it had a civil (and also loose) start time of 4pm, which meant it wouldn’t awkwardly cut anyone’s Saturday in half. In fact, most people stayed until late – the last of the party crew remained until almost 11 pm (including yours truly…).
And by “we,” yes I mean my husband and me. And yes, he was part of the planning, the execution and the party because yes, this is his baby too.
And it was absolutely perfect. It was everything I dreamt it would be and so much more. It was not only the perfect way to celebrate new life, but also the perfect way to demonstrate that new life is not the domain of the woman alone. And that new life isn’t something that instantly turns every woman into a pink frothy cupcake version of herself who all of a sudden thinks it’s fun to have people guessing the size of her belly with toilet paper or melting candy bars into diapers. Um, no thanks.
But I’ll be honest, when I first proposed the idea that “we” would have a party for the baby’s nearing arrival, my husband initially rejected the idea. Why would he (or any dude, for that matter) want to go to a baby shower? Baby showers are lame. Boring. Torturous events.
Yes, yes exactly! Lame, boring, and torturous events are the kind of thing all women LOVE. Give me trivial, frivolous pink frothy cupcake type shit all day long, pretty please.
Or actually don’t. Khloe Kardashian’s baby shower decor legit makes me want to throw up…
Believe it or not dudes, most women also don’t want to attend boring or awkward events; we too have standards for how we spend our time.
But we go to the damn baby showers, and we even host them for our loved ones (usually without complaint or pushback) because we’ve all been conditioned to buy into the pastel colored torture as some kind of natural passage into momhood.
But why can’t a baby shower be a natural passage into parenthood? You know – mom and dad hood?
Since men get to benefit from the fruits of our labor (pun intended), then it seems they should be willing to be a part of the journey, every single step of the way, torturous or not. Plain and simple. In my opinion, being a man should not excuse you from participating in all of the various stages of pregnancy, or parenthood. Aren’t you also happy about the baby? Don’t you want your friends to celebrate this new life that you’ve helped create? Won’t you also be changing clothes and diapers? Don’t you like a good party?
Aren’t you glad you’re not MARRIED TO ME?
While I wholeheartedly agree that baby showers can be lame, boring, torturous events, at least in the traditional sense, I don’t think they have to be or should be. In fact, as with many major milestones in life (birthdays, graduations, retirement…), I think having a baby absolutely warrants having a party….especially one that involves queso and good friends.
If there’s ever been a time to celebrate, shouldn’t it be when you’re acting as a vessel for new life? If you’re going to carry a baby for nearly a year of your life, and sacrifice your body, sleep and likely some dignity, I say throw yourself one last hurrah before the baby takes over and turns you into a sleep deprived half human.
Go ahead and throw yourself the party you want and say suck it to tradition and convention.
This post was brought to you by a healthy dose of feminist rage mixed in with pregnancy hormones. You’re welcome.
Stay sweaty (and rage on!!),
Liz saysMarch 15, 2018 at 2:06 pm
Wait, that party was for DANGER?? 😉 Seriously such a fun party! So happy for you and Casey and Abbie on your impending bundle of joy, since it is absolutely a team effort and not just a woman bathed in pink frosting.
Jamie saysMarch 15, 2018 at 2:23 pm
heheh that image of being bathed in pink frosting….
Nicci Randall saysMarch 15, 2018 at 2:30 pm
REBEL. I would totally marry you – you know, if you weren’t already married, pregnant, and of course, if we were both into women ;-). But seriously, that was the party of the year. I also love telling people that I got tipsy (to put it lightly) and a party for my friends’ baby! And the queso…. The perfect welcome into the world for this kid. I think you’re setting the tone for a whole new way we look at pregnancy, parenthood AND how to party.
Jamie saysMarch 15, 2018 at 8:01 pm
Hahaha, I would marry you too – I mean, that cheese dip you make is reason enough alone. Add that to all the other good things… I love that you were there partying with us – and I’m SO glad you got tipsy – the drinks were good and the company was even BETTER! 🙂 XOXO
Kelsey saysMarch 15, 2018 at 4:35 pm
Haha your party looked awesome and I loved that men (and puppies) were included. Now that you mention it, it’s so strange that men don’t attend baby showers. What the heck? What a stupid tradition. Thanks for opening my eyes and writing this badass post.
Jamie saysMarch 15, 2018 at 8:02 pm
Yeah – it is a stupid tradition – hahahah – it makes me feel crazy (also so does pregnancy….). Miss you guys!! Your travels look amazing! XOXO
Alyse saysMarch 16, 2018 at 9:33 am
Love everything about this – we get to rewrite the ‘rules’ as they work for us. And what an AMAZING party!
Jamie saysMarch 16, 2018 at 1:32 pm
HAHA feeling all the ragey things this week….