Two weekends ago, we had a very unconventional “baby shower.” In fact, we didn’t even call it a baby shower, instead it was merely a party to celebrate Baby Danger’s nearing arrival. We had tacos, queso, blood orange mojitos (and an assortment of adult beverages), and there were no games or gift openings. Just a bunch of adults (and puppies) hanging out, eating, drinking and being as merry as can be. Oh – and in my opinion, it had a civil (and also loose) start time of 4pm, which meant it wouldn’t awkwardly cut anyone’s Saturday in half. In fact, most people stayed until late – the last of the party crew remained until almost 11 pm (including yours truly…).
And by “we,” yes I mean my husband and me. And yes, he was part of the planning, the execution and the party because yes, this is his baby too.
And it was absolutely perfect. It was everything I dreamt it would be and so much more. It was not only the perfect way to celebrate new life, but also the perfect way to demonstrate that new life is not the domain of the woman alone. And that new life isn’t something that instantly turns every woman into a pink frothy cupcake version of herself who all of a sudden thinks it’s fun to have people guessing the size of her belly with toilet paper or melting candy bars into diapers. Um, no thanks.
But I’ll be honest, when I first proposed the idea that “we” would have a party for the baby’s nearing arrival, my husband initially rejected the idea. Why would he (or any dude, for that matter) want to go to a baby shower? Baby showers are lame. Boring. Torturous events.
Yes, yes exactly! Lame, boring, and torturous events are the kind of thing all women LOVE. Give me trivial, frivolous pink frothy cupcake type shit all day long, pretty please.
Or actually don’t. Khloe Kardashian’s baby shower decor legit makes me want to throw up…
Believe it or not dudes, most women also don’t want to attend boring or awkward events; we too have standards for how we spend our time.
But we go to the damn baby showers, and we even host them for our loved ones (usually without complaint or pushback) because we’ve all been conditioned to buy into the pastel colored torture as some kind of natural passage into momhood.
But why can’t a baby shower be a natural passage into parenthood? You know – mom and dad hood?
Since men get to benefit from the fruits of our labor (pun intended), then it seems they should be willing to be a part of the journey, every single step of the way, torturous or not. Plain and simple. In my opinion, being a man should not excuse you from participating in all of the various stages of pregnancy, or parenthood. Aren’t you also happy about the baby? Don’t you want your friends to celebrate this new life that you’ve helped create? Won’t you also be changing clothes and diapers? Don’t you like a good party?
Aren’t you glad you’re not MARRIED TO ME?
While I wholeheartedly agree that baby showers can be lame, boring, torturous events, at least in the traditional sense, I don’t think they have to be or should be. In fact, as with many major milestones in life (birthdays, graduations, retirement…), I think having a baby absolutely warrants having a party….especially one that involves queso and good friends.
If there’s ever been a time to celebrate, shouldn’t it be when you’re acting as a vessel for new life? If you’re going to carry a baby for nearly a year of your life, and sacrifice your body, sleep and likely some dignity, I say throw yourself one last hurrah before the baby takes over and turns you into a sleep deprived half human.
Go ahead and throw yourself the party you want and say suck it to tradition and convention.
This post was brought to you by a healthy dose of feminist rage mixed in with pregnancy hormones. You’re welcome.
Stay sweaty (and rage on!!),