I have happily ignored a lot of the newer traditions throughout my pregnancy – maternity photoshoots, gender reveal parties, and eventually even “push presents,” just to name a few. While I appreciate the collective celebration that comes alongside pregnancy, some of it just isn’t me.
No thanks. I’ll happily save the $200 for the photographer and the additional $100 for the perfect maternity “outfit” that I’ll likely never wear again. And I’ll even more happily skip lounging, half nude in a bed of ivy with my flower crown and flowy, earth mother dress while staring lovingly at my womanly curves. Instead, I’d prefer that any and all documentation of my pregnancy happen on our phones in real situations, in all of my real life attire – ill fitting sports bras (I haven’t bothered to get new ones), my assortment of they still fit leggings collection (hooray for spandex), rubber-banded jean shorts (yesssss…), and tights and dresses (my staple outfit lately) – because, hey that’s what my pregnancy really looks like. It’s raw, it’s real and it’s me. And I’m not saying anyone who wants or had maternity photoshoots are wrong for doing so, it’s just part of the pregnancy celebration that I am personally more than ok with skipping. You do you, I’ll do me.
Gender reveal parties.
Nope. Ain’t nobody got time for that. It was hard enough to get my family and friends together for a Baby Danger is coming soon party, I can’t imagine asking all of my friends and family to come and celebrate us when we’re only halfway through the pregnancy just to find out the sex. Plus, I’m way too impatient. We were given the option to find out the gender via a blood test around 11 weeks and I was ALL ABOUT IT.
Just no. I don’t get it. I don’t need it. Babies are already expensive af, and I’d rather save our money for any kind of push present for his college fund. Nuff said.
That said, there is one newish pregnancy tradition that has me torn – the one that keeps coming up – I swear, it comes up in almost every single conversation, Facebook post, Instagram comment, you name it – it seems to be at the top of everyone’s must-do pregnancy list: the babymoon.
I’ve heard it all:
“Make sure you take a babymoon!”
“It’s the last time it will just be the two of you…”
“You have the rest of your lives to work. Just do it now before the baby comes.”
And spoiler alert, no we didn’t take a babymoon, at least not officially. And no, we aren’t going to. I’m over 36 weeks pregnant so we’re certainly not going to be traveling to some far off land for a week of adventures when walking a few miles makes me feel like I just ran marathon. Not to mention, this baby could be coming…any. day. now (if he damn well pleases).
On the one hand, a babymoon sounds amazing; honestly, any excuse to travel is a good excuse.
But on the other hand, it also sounds kind of frustrating and slow. When I travel, I like to adventure. I want to fully immerse myself in the experience and take advantage of the time we have – meaning my ideal travel day involves getting up early to run and explore, followed by a non-stop day of walking, activity, and adventure, ideally with snacks packed so we can skip lunch, and then treat ourselves to a big dinner and a nice glass of wine before blissfully passing out. And then, rinse and repeat.
While pregnant- some of my ideal travel – like ahem, skipping lunch, or adventuring all day long without a break would just become a bit more…challenging. And slow. And honestly, some big, exotic trip might just be kind of lost on me right now. I might just feel frustrated that I wasn’t able to do more while I was there.
Plus, I find the whole idea of “this is the last time it will be just the two of you” or “do it while you still can…” to be a little too doom and gloom for my taste. I don’t think having a kid should be viewed as a prison sentence or a disability (or dare I say it, the catalyst for an unhappy marriage). I know plenty of people with kids who still adventure, travel, and LIVE their lives. Yes, I realize there has to be some sacrifice when you have kids, but you can’t just stop living entirely. And to think a babymoon – traveling when I’m uncomfortable and can’t even drink wine – is my last opportunity just makes the whole thing too depressing. After having this kid, I know it will be more difficult to travel and adventure, but not impossible. I still intend to live a fulfilling life.
Plus, we did some traveling while pregnant – maybe not an official babymoon – but we escaped our normal lives, just the same.
I traveled to Vancouver, B.C. TWICE in a matter of months – once for a girl’s weekend with all of my best college pals, and again for our EMPOWER Retreat.
I went to Bentonville, Arkansas to speak at the Outdoor Blogger Summit conference and got my fill of trail running, exploring, and adventuring with some new friends.
We enjoyed a little weekend escape to Astoria (on the Oregon Coast) and got our fill of running, hiking, exploring and eating!
We traveled to California for the holidays and took every pregnancy induced insomnia excuse to get out for a sunrise hike…pure magic!
We got to take advantage of Phoenix’s winter heat wave and donned shorts and tank tops in January, hiked up mountains in Sedona, and ran all the good trails we could find.
We also got away to the mountains for our annual friends trip to Bend.
And while there wasn’t much snow, we got out for runs, explored some trails, and of course ate all the good food (ahem, cheesy dip).
And we got to do it all in style driving around in a fancy Mazda CX-9 Grand Touring vehicle (because that is how we roll….).
And finally, we ran up mountains (with over 3,500 feet of climb, ahem) to explore beautiful mountain lakes…
I ran a 20 mile trail race on Mt. St. Helen’s and a trail half marathon in Molalla, Oregon.
For me, not having an official babymoon has allowed me to look at this as just another chapter of my life, not a full stop, time to start over event. I refuse to give into the notion that my life, my adventures, and even my passion for travel will completely come to a STOP once I have a kid.
In fact, I’ll be in San Diego in June for BLOGFEST (OMG!!!), and we already have a Tahoe trip on the books for August (with a three month old, no less). I’m also in the process of campaigning for a fall trip to Maui – which grandma will likely join us for to give us some time for it to be just the two of us again. And I’m going to Vail with my parents in January, just me and the kiddo, and hoping grandma and grandpa will babysit for a few hours so I can hit the slopes.
So tell me, mamas, what pregnancy traditions can you not live without? And which ones did you skip? What are your feelings on maternity photoshoots? Baby showers? Gender reveal parties? Babymoons? Push presents? Or other traditions?
Stay sweaty (and keep livin’ that good life!) friends.
Nicci Randall saysMarch 28, 2018 at 3:58 pm
This list of adventures you and Danger have already done together is AMAZING! I can’t wait until you get to share this with him when he can, you know, understand the English language and conceptualize it all. And I can only imagine all of the amazing adventures to come once he is out in the world and longer crushing your low back….
Also. That face plant at the end hahah!
Jamie saysMarch 28, 2018 at 4:04 pm
Is it bad that I want to be that kid face planting? I can’t wait until it’s OK for me to fall on my face again!
crista saysMarch 28, 2018 at 6:48 pm
we didn’t do any of it- no pregnancy pictures done, no baby shower or gender reveal no baby moon. we were busy and i took heaps of pictures doing actual things- a race, swimming, hanging out on the couch. We did have a party thrown by my sister after the baby was born that she called a “sip n see” that served as a baby shower but everyone got to hold the baby and i got to drink some champagne. it was fun!
Jamie saysMarch 28, 2018 at 7:02 pm
A Sip N’ See sounds AMAZING, I might have to steal that idea. I like the idea of having people hold the baby while I drink champagne. What a glorious sounding party! 🙂 XO
crista saysMarch 29, 2018 at 8:01 am
it was the best – no measuring my belly games! just tasty appetizers, drinks and hanging out with friends. highly recommend
Jamie saysMarch 29, 2018 at 9:38 am
Such a perfect idea, I’m in! You had me at champagne and other people holding the baby!
Mrs. Taylor saysMarch 28, 2018 at 9:14 pm
I travel a ton with my three kiddos! Each of my kiddos attended sports (Giant and Sharks) games as young as 10 days old. Traveling with an infant breastfeeding is super easy! Your boobs are packing the food! Adventure with your little ones sometimes a little slower still have a great view and priceless memories.
Jamie saysMarch 29, 2018 at 9:39 am
You guys always inspire me – you do so much with those three kids – and they’re so amazing, well adjusted, well behaved (and adorable). I’m definitely looking at you and your fam as my inspiration!
Mara Mort saysMarch 29, 2018 at 2:16 pm
This made my day. When one of my doctor’s asked my husband he bought anything after having two kids, I interjected with, “no, I bought myself a Peloton.” I treated myself to something that helped me feel good again. Make your own traditions!
Jamie saysMarch 30, 2018 at 9:02 am
Yes – I love that you got yourself something – and something awesome! 🙂
Kelsey M Stout saysMarch 30, 2018 at 8:16 am
This is so well said.
I learned what a push present was from a woman in my old office in SF. She got a new beamer as a wedding gift from her husband but told me that she was just really jealous of a friend that got a Porsche as a push present. It was all so bizarre.
I’m glad you are creating the parties and traditions you want, instead of what others do. Everyone is so different so it only makes sense that they celebrate slash prepare for giant life changes differently.
Jamie saysMarch 30, 2018 at 9:02 am
OMG, a porsche? Uh what? HAHAH. Yeah – I’m never going to get a Porsche as a gift. HAHAH
Alyse saysMarch 30, 2018 at 1:24 pm
What? WHAT? I had no idea push prizes got that big!
Jamie saysMarch 30, 2018 at 3:53 pm
I know, OMG, what in the …. ? I’ll go out on a limb here and say, never in my life am I going to get a car from Casey as a gift. HA. Especially not that kind of car. Maybe a used car. Or a Kia Soul.
Kelsey M Stout saysApril 17, 2018 at 4:57 am
lol a Kia Soul. Yea Bay Area engineers, ya know? They cray
Jamie saysApril 18, 2018 at 3:56 pm
oh man, I wish I had that engineer cash! HA
Alyse saysMarch 30, 2018 at 1:23 pm
Ahh there’s just so many things we’re ‘supposed’ to do these days—as women, as mothers, and of course as vessels for new life.
It’s so cool how many adventures you and Danger have been on already, and way to not bow to peer (social media) pressure to do certain so-called rituals just for the sake of doing so-called rituals. Way to be pregnant on your own damn terms!
Jamie saysMarch 30, 2018 at 3:53 pm
Hahah, I have to be pregnant on my own damn terms. I’m really bad at following rules!
Beth Bishop saysOctober 1, 2018 at 9:33 pm
we were gifted a trip for our wedding back in february but had no vacation left for the rest of the year so we planned to go this upcoming january, pre baby planning/pregnancy. if we hadn’t been gifted the trip, there is no way we would have taken one! so you’re not alone!