You’re an asshole but I forgive you

I had fabulous Friday morning plans. It’s been awhile, a really long while since I’ve been able to have a real morning. I was going to get up early, but not too early, to run with my husband and my dog, to enjoy the cool temps and each other’s company. Around 5:30 am (too early), my phone started ringing; I sleepily glanced at it and realized it was from Ian, one of my Flex & Flow instructors, who typically teaches Fridays at 6 am. I thought oh, no. Please…not today. I thought he was calling to tell me he was late, or wouldn’t be able to make it. And my heart sunk. By the time I went to actually answer, I had missed the call. I didn’t want to wake my husband so I texted with him instead.

He began to tell me that the lockbox was missing and I actually pinched myself…was I really awake? The lockbox is missing? How could that be when it’s basically cemented to a wall? The pinch felt real and I knew I was awake. He went on to say that the door was unlocked and that the computer was missing. Awesome. I debated running over there, fully in PJs, but then thought better of it. What good would it do? I had phone calls to make. Police reports to file. Insurance claims to make. Locksmiths to make appointments with. It was going to be a very different day than I had originally imagined. And that was just the way it was going to be.

After checking my email, I discovered that our karma yogis had emailed us after 11 pm to let us know that the lockbox was missing when they arrived at 11 pm to clean, and that the door was unlocked. And it occurred to me that the thief had either been very stupid or very bold to rip a lockbox off a wall so early in the night and break in for something as silly as an old computer. The desperation. The sadness of it all was just too real.

I spent over an hour on the phone dealing with all of the logistics of changing locks and filing reports. The dispatcher for the non-emergency 911 line was really rude to me which I thought was odd. I added in an extra happy Friday just to see if my kindness would transmit to her. But it didn’t. She continued to be rude to me, as if I were the one who broke in and ruined someone’s Friday. Shortly after getting off that call, I made the way over to the studio to meet with the officer who would take my police report. It was awkward standing outside with him while class was in session, but he was kind and empathetic. He took my report, gave me some suggestions, and told me it sounded like I had thought everything through. Reassurance. Thanks Officer Edmunds.

After filing the police report, I went back home to collect some things I needed to ship and hauled them to the post office, hoping to get that done before the locksmith would be ready for me. On my way back, as luck would have it, the locksmith called and they were on their way to the studio. Chuck, the locksmith, was an older man who was clearly slightly hard of hearing and talked about two decibels too loud. He was also kind and jovial and worked quickly to rekey our doors, make 30 keys, and then test EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. All 30 keys. He clearly didn’t understand yoga and basically talked over the start of our noon class. Thankfully, our students were understanding and rolled with the ordeal. Did I mention how much I love this community? How much I love our Flex & Flow students and teachers? Well, I do.

I went out to test the locks myself and then my phone went crazy – ringing loudly – while class was still in session (whoops) – and when I went to return the call, it was the building management company asking me to come file an official report. More logistics. The building management company was also helpful and kind. Even apologetic. We laughed a little over the joys of small business and then I made my way back to the studio to collect my things so that I could make my way home to get on the phone with the insurance company, and then make my way downtown to purchase a new computer. Perhaps.

And it’s after 1:00 pm. And that’s basically my entire Friday. Not a single moment spent doing anything for myself. Not a single moment to myself. Or spent with my husband. Or my dog. Just all of these small moments dealing with shitty things.

And I invited myself to let it go. To sit and make space in my brain. To breathe. And mostly to forgive this desperate human. I realized that my day, while bad, or rather annoying, was nowhere near what this person’s day might be. The pain, the sadness, the desperation that would drive these actions must be so much greater than a frustrating Friday morning spent on the phone, with rude dispatchers and all.

Today, I’m dedicating my positive energy and my breath to this desperate human. While you clearly did something stupid, and acted like an asshole, I have a feeling something is truly eating you, that you’re broken and desperate, and need love and compassion more than anything else. And I’m sorry for you.

Rant over. Friday.

Stay sweaty (and kind!),

XOXO

Jamie