The moment I realized it’s not just ME anymore

After finding out I was pregnant, nothing much had seemed to change…at first, anyway. I was still going about my same, busy life, in the same way and pretty much at the same speed, the only real difference seemed to be that I was now armed with more snacks.

The very week I found out, I ran a total of 30 miles -12 of which were consecutive and on the trails in Mt. Hood National Forest (hello, altitude and elevation!) – and I felt totally fine.

 

I wrapped up the 30 mile week with a 9 mile, slightly strenuous bike ride to IBU Public House where I would be teaching a Yoga + Beer class.

And then I taught class and taught another one that evening. A full, busy, active day.

I kept thinking, pregnancy is going to be a breeze.

But boy oh boy was I wrong!

Come week 7, I had my first real freak out.

After a busy and active weekend, followed by having a friend (CJ) in town, I was admittedly feeling a little exhausted. Between a fun trail run with CJ and dinner with her family on Tuesday night, I hadn’t had much time to just sit and relax.

Come Wednesday night, after teaching an evening class, I had Casey pick me up from the studio to go straight to a Kishi Bashi concert. He brought snacks – a few baggies of cereal, some gummy candy, and chocolate covered cashews. The only problem was, I hadn’t eaten any real food in hours and I was in no mood for sugar. I ate a few little pieces of the snack assortment, but couldn’t stomach too much more.

Once we arrived at the concert, we had to stand in line for awhile and I realized how thirsty I was. We hadn’t thought to bring any water and I was counting on being able to get water as soon as we walked in. Only, there were no drinking fountains and the line for the bar was already deep. While standing for much of the opening act, I started to feel woozy and funny. I found a spot near the wall and basically slunk down against it.

I told Casey I needed water. I made my way over to the bar, bypassed the line and went straight to the front and said, I need a cup of water, I’m pregnant and thirsty. I saw them give me a quick, skeptical once over (I certainly did not look pregnant!), and then they eventually handed me a cup which I had to go fill up in the bathroom – no cuts in line, even for water, I suppose. It helped soothe the funny feeling a little but I knew I still needed food.

I survived the opening act and then Kishi Bashi came on. At this point, I was hardly able to enjoy any of it. I was still sitting against the wall but starting to feel dizzy and really unable to focus or process.

I had never felt so out-of-control of my own body. As someone who always has good control of their body and how they feel, it was really difficult for me to come to terms with what was happening. Kishi Bashi was nearly done with his set and I felt way too happy to hear we were at the end. Casey found a cookie near the bar and I had a few bites, still feeling too sick to really want sugar, but eating it knowing I needed something in my stomach. Kishi Bashi announced an encore and then took a break while the announcers announced the raffle. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt weak, emotional, and out of control, and said we need to go. I hated ruining the show for Casey, but I knew I needed to listen to my body, and do what felt right.

In the car, I was a wreck. I felt panicky hungry, emotional, frustrated, and sick. I took it out on Casey and blamed him for the evening – saying for the first time in a very serious tone, you did this to me! 

Once we got home, I couldn’t do anything but sit down. He brought me something to eat and I tried to recalibrate so that I could go to bed feeling human again.

It was a big lesson learned for me. It was the first time I truly realized that it was no longer just me I needed to worry about and that toughing it out just wasn’t an option anymore.

Tell me something funny from early on in your pregnancy! Do you have any interesting stories about weird symptoms? 

Stay sweaty friends!

XO,

Jamie